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Two anthropomorphic hands run across a finish line at the same time.
I’m so sorry, I’d love to help, but my hands are running a 5K.

Tags: body parts, fitness

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Two people have come across a giant apple. The second person, in an "I Heart NYC" shirt is shocked, while the first person says, "What made you think I was taking you to New York City? I told you we were going to the Big Apple!"
Don't worry, the cost of living in an actual apple is fairly affordable.

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A man at a bar tries to pick up three women. Unfortunately, the women are all sticks.
Did it hurt... when you fell off a tree?

Tags: love

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Three blood cells try to use peer pressure on a fellow blood cell. The leader leads by saying, "C'mon! Coagulate! Everybody's doing it!"
I don’t do it anymore, but back in high school, I coagulated, like, all the time.

Tags: science

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A box fan writes a letter to his friend, who is a ceiling fan.
The highest form of praise is to get a letter from a box fan.

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At Al's Wine and Spirits store, he sells wine and spirits, but the spirits are not liquor - they are ghosts.
Now i get why people tell me they are haunted by the cocktails I've made them.

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In this pun, the raving lunatic is, in fact, a raven, who is saying , "I've bought a house on the moon, and NASA has hired me as a bowling ball!"
In non-related news, my dream job is to be a bowling ball.

Tags: animals, bird

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A figure 8 knot holds the hand of someone who has clearly just ended their relationship, and the knot says, "I will always remember you."
Knot a situation I'd want to be in

Tags: love

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In this pun on fairy tales, two ferry boats share a moment on the sea. One says to the other, "I found your glass skipper!"
These kinds of love stories really tug(boat) at the heart!

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A lawyer addresses the judge, who sits next to the defendant, who wears a birthday hat and holds a balloon. The lawyer argues, "Is the defendant guilty of having too much cake? Sure, but when has celebrating been a crime?"
I must, however, insist that not serving cake SHOULD be a crime.

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