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Two people have come across a giant apple. The second person, in an "I Heart NYC" shirt is shocked, while the first person says, "What made you think I was taking you to New York City? I told you we were going to the Big Apple!"
Don't worry, the cost of living in an actual apple is fairly affordable.

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A man at a bar tries to pick up three women. Unfortunately, the women are all sticks.
Did it hurt... when you fell off a tree?

Tags: love

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Three blood cells try to use peer pressure on a fellow blood cell. The leader leads by saying, "C'mon! Coagulate! Everybody's doing it!"
I don’t do it anymore, but back in high school, I coagulated, like, all the time.

Tags: science

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A box fan writes a letter to his friend, who is a ceiling fan.
The highest form of praise is to get a letter from a box fan.

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At Al's Wine and Spirits store, he sells wine and spirits, but the spirits are not liquor - they are ghosts.
Now i get why people tell me they are haunted by the cocktails I've made them.

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In this pun, the raving lunatic is, in fact, a raven, who is saying , "I've bought a house on the moon, and NASA has hired me as a bowling ball!"
In non-related news, my dream job is to be a bowling ball.

Tags: animals, bird

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A figure 8 knot holds the hand of someone who has clearly just ended their relationship, and the knot says, "I will always remember you."
Knot a situation I'd want to be in

Tags: love

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In this pun on fairy tales, two ferry boats share a moment on the sea. One says to the other, "I found your glass skipper!"
These kinds of love stories really tug(boat) at the heart!

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A lawyer addresses the judge, who sits next to the defendant, who wears a birthday hat and holds a balloon. The lawyer argues, "Is the defendant guilty of having too much cake? Sure, but when has celebrating been a crime?"
I must, however, insist that not serving cake SHOULD be a crime.

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In this play on the iconic opening of Bay Watch, three bagels in red bathing suits with life preservers run across the beach (presumably in slow motion).
Of course the only thing I would trust to save my life is a bagel.

Tags: bagel

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