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A box fan writes a letter to his friend, who is a ceiling fan.
The highest form of praise is to get a letter from a box fan.

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At Al's Wine and Spirits store, he sells wine and spirits, but the spirits are not liquor - they are ghosts.
Now i get why people tell me they are haunted by the cocktails I've made them.

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In this pun, the raving lunatic is, in fact, a raven, who is saying , "I've bought a house on the moon, and NASA has hired me as a bowling ball!"
In non-related news, my dream job is to be a bowling ball.

Tags: animals, bird

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A figure 8 knot holds the hand of someone who has clearly just ended their relationship, and the knot says, "I will always remember you."
Knot a situation I'd want to be in

Tags: love

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In this pun on fairy tales, two ferry boats share a moment on the sea. One says to the other, "I found your glass skipper!"
These kinds of love stories really tug(boat) at the heart!

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A lawyer addresses the judge, who sits next to the defendant, who wears a birthday hat and holds a balloon. The lawyer argues, "Is the defendant guilty of having too much cake? Sure, but when has celebrating been a crime?"
I must, however, insist that not serving cake SHOULD be a crime.

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In this play on the iconic opening of Bay Watch, three bagels in red bathing suits with life preservers run across the beach (presumably in slow motion).
Of course the only thing I would trust to save my life is a bagel.

Tags: bagel

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It is not accurate to call a bagel an "everything" bagel if it only has a few types of seeds on it. This bagel truly has EVERYTHING - including a bowling ball, a cactus, 3D glasses, a Rubik's cube, a kidney bean, and a hermit crab.
Everything bagels should really just be called "some things bagels."

Tags: bagel

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In this play on Leonardo Da Vinci's The Last Supper, Jesus and some of his disciples eat the last breakfast, which, despite it being Passover, appears to be bagels and schmear.
Hoping this will be the subject of the next DaVinci Code sequel.

Tags: art, religion, bagel

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In this pun of Munch's famous painting The Scream, the titular screamer yells in horror while looking at a bagel with pink cream cheese - they have been given strawberry cream cheese, not lox spread!
There's nothing scarier than getting the wrong cream cheese.

Tags: art, bagel

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