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A magician pauses with a saw in his hand. He is about to saw in half his assistant, who is a cow. But we must remember - don't halve a cow!
From my forthcoming book "Sensible Advice for Magicians"

Tags: animals, cow

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Two yetis share polite conversation, as is appropriate for abominable snowmen.
Contrary to popular belief, their manners aren't abominable.

Tags: animals

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In this pun on a fried chicken drumstick, a chicken plays drums in a rock and roll band, called Bok n Roll.
I love bok n roll! #asininechickenpuns

Tags: animals, chicken, bird

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In this pun on George Orwell's dystopian novel Animal Farm, we see several animals line up at a pharmacy while the cat pharmacist tells them, "I'm sorry, your insurance doesn't cover that."
A frightening dystopian tale

Tags: literature, animals, pig, political, cat, chicken, health

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In this pun on Sophocles' Oedipus Rex, one t-rex says holds a bouquet of flowers and says to his dinosaur mother, "I love you, mom!" This can't end well.
Who says love is dead?

Tags: love, mythology

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A wise chicken in a turtleneck and tweed jacket advises, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch," in this classic chicken nugget of wisdom.
My go-to fast food order #asininechickenpuns

Tags: animals, chicken, food, bird

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Two chickens play in the snow in a winter wonderland next to their chicken snowman. They are, indeed, no spring chickens.
Oh no! It's another weekend of asinine chicken puns!

Tags: animals, chicken, bird

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An aristocrat from the landed gentry stands next to an airplane filled with aristocrats - the almost landed gentry
A lesson in historical terminology

Tags: this or that

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In this pun on keynote speaker, a turkey gives a Ted Talk in front of a word cloud.
Give thanks, but also, give motivational speeches for a high fee.

Tags: animals, bird

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In this play on Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, we see a psychotherapist ask Janet Leigh, who is screaming in a shower, "And how does that make you feel?"
In therapy, it's important to meet the clients where they're at (in this case, screaming bloody murder in a shower).

Tags: film, therapy

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