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Some kids play on a yard stick and a grumpy old man yells at them to get off his yard!
Kids love playing on measuring tools!

Tags: math

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'Twas nowhere near the night before Christmas, so all the mice are sitting at their mixing bowls and stirring.
It finally feels like spring, so obviously the only thing I can think of is Christmas.

Tags: animals, christmas

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A guy reads a book called "How to Kill a Mockingbird" -- clearly a hunting book that he has confused for Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird.
Although this book is a classic for those plagued by mockingbirds that love imitating car alarms

Tags: literature

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A woman explains to her friend, "Originally, when the dentist said the bridge and crown would be $11,000, I was skeptical, but it was worth it." As she wears a bejeweled crown while standing on her new bridge.
Although it would be disturbing for this kind of Amelia Bedelia-esque dentist to say, “You need a cavity filled.”

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In this pun on therapy dog, a dog therapist engages with its client and asks, "Tell me about your pupp.. er... I mean childhood."
Some therapy dogs cuddle, others employ techniques they learned in Freudian analysis institute.

Tags: animals, therapy, dog

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We see a person workin' on the railroad, but they are doing office work at a desk. I've seen enough Rocky and Bullwinkle to know this is probably a bad idea.
Surprisingly, this was one of my better jobs.

Tags: work

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A tall basketball player talks to a courtside reporter and tells him he is really proud of the basket he made, as he holds a handmade whicker basket.
That is to say, if ESPN televised teams of 19-year-olds competitively weaving baskets, I would watch it.

Tags: sports

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In this pun on the nursery rhyme Mary Had a Little Lamb, a waiter serves Mary a little rack of lamb with a side of roasted new potatos.
No real little lambs were harmed in the making of this cartoon.

Tags: food

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We see a doctor tell a seated many "Here is a diagram that shows your intestinal activity is abnormal." But she is just pointing to a grammatical diagram of the sentence.
This is the only kind of doctor my health insurance covers.

Tags: health

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We see a swimmer trying to make progress in the water but being weighed down by an anchor with the weekly news printed on it.
Nostalgic for the days when the wedding section was the most infuriating part of the paper

Tags: political

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