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Some people walking their dog tell another passer-by, "We're not sure, but we think he's at least part terrier." The dog is actually a mutant monster.
But really, who rescued who?

Tags: animals, dog

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A person on the street with a clipboard and vest asks a passing person, "Do you have a minute to discuss other job opportunities for me?"
It’s never too strange a stage in your career to consider law school.

Tags: work

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In reference to the Shakira song, "My Hips Don't Lie," a person claims that her hips don't lie, but her hippos do, as her hippos give her lie excuses.
Some find inspiration in nature, others find it in Shakira.

Tags: animals, music

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A house is on the phone and tells a friend that it has shingles.
Important PSA: it’s not just older adults who get shingles.

Tags: health

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A cat apologizes to its owner - who wears a lot of "I love my cat" paraphernalia - for leading the owner on, but the cat says it has been upfront about its feelings since the beginning.
This one is dedicated to my new roommate, a cat named Gomez who I will convince to be my friend whether he likes it or not.

Tags: animals, cat, love

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A salesman shows up to a job with a briefcase and suit and says, "I thought this was a sales job." It's on a sailboat.
It's an easy mistake.

Tags: work

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A dentist looks in a patient's mouth and says, "What are all those white things?" They are teeth.
Questions of the universe

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Sandra had but one regret, her tattoo that says "#noregrets."
Hashtags are timeless!

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In a thrilling twist of fate, we see characters from our boring summer reading books having to read boring summer reading books about our lives (about calls to insurance, printer malfunctions, and coworker feuds)
Dedicated to all the people trapped in summer reading crunch-time

Tags: literature

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Someone spray paints "WHAT'S UP," thus ending her writer's block.
I hate when I go to tag and then have a mental block of what to write.

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